Saturday, February 27, 2010
CAN YOU EVER REALLY COME HOME AGAIN?
Even though it's wonderful to be 'back at the beach, what I've been wondering about since my furniture was delivered last Tuesday is is this home? With over 300 boxes of 'stuff' to unpack and put back in place, it's been an exhausting week, as you can well imagine, but I'm getting there and it's starting to at least 'looks' like my home.
I made a fast trip to Raleigh to take some household items to son #2 and visit my with good friend who had just returned from 2 months in Mexico. I learned of a dear friend's passing and was booted out of the Book Club I helped found. (They replaced me when I left for the Peace Corps and won't let me back in as they want to keep their membership at 10). Boy, was that a kick in the teeth - people you think are your friends and would be pleased that you're back, have moved on with their lives and really don't care about you or yours.
So I got to thinking about what is so different about me and my lifestyle that makes me 'not acceptable' to the norm. I think the thing that stands out first is I'm single. That does set you apart at this age, whether you are divorced or widowed or just never married. Your married women friends see you as a threat. And second, and probably most of all is 'options.' I have them, most really don't. I'm not stuck in one place, in one house, in one city. I can 'wheels-up' and take off to wherever I choose, whenever I chose, and I think that makes people, should I say, envious?
If my dear husband were still living, I am sure I would 'one of those who was stuck' behind the gates of a golf community, just living day-to-day without much change or adventure in my life. But I was dealt a different hand and how I chose to play it has always been my choice.
You read quotes like 'don't worry or care what others think about you, go forth and live the best life you can.' Maybe that's true, for the most part. But we all know that we care what others think about us - it's hard not to.
So what will tomorrow or next week or next month bring? I haven't a clue! The options are many, the road is long and inviting, my house is warm, safe and cozy. I've even started dating - I know, said I wouldn't - but when someone really nice comes along - well....? Sharing is fun, talking about life and experiences and just going to dinner or a movie with someone other than yourself can be really nice.
Tomorrow I start getting my sewing studio back together and look forward to taking out all my fabrics to 'pet', fondle and imagine what I could make out of each piece. I'm going through my closets and giving away lots and lots. I learned from a year in Winnie that I really don't need all those clothes. Goodwill will be happy to see me.
I just wanted to share my thoughts this cloudy Saturday afternoon with those of you who have traveled along with me for the past 12 months.
Take care of each other....until next time.